apparently teenagers need 10 hours of sleep a night to function properly maybe thats why i suck at everything
one time i was at a nightclub and it was really dark and i met a guy and we didnt really talk he kind of just like guided me to the dance floor and we grinded on eachother and made out and he whispered wanna go to my place in my ear and i was like yeah ok so we went outside to get a cab and we looked at each other in the light of the streetlight and he turned out to be my bio. teacher and he literally sprinted away
It’s coming up on a year now since I got my current job as a pizza delivery girl, and I thought this would be a good time to delve into the little ever-expanding “WTFPIZZA” note I keep on my cell that helps me remember some of my more, uh - interesting deliveries.
So without further ado and in no particular order, here’s some pizza customers who left a lasting impression on me thus far:
i hate people who glorify winter there is nothing fun and cute about winter you fuckin wake up and ya piss is frozen in ya dick is that what you want you hot chocolate loving fuck
literally every problem can be solved with the sniff test. undies you’re not sure if you’ve worn? sniff test. grandmas been lying awfully still the last few days? sniff test. yoghurts been sitting in the fridge for two months? nah man harden the fuck up just eat it dont be a pussy.